Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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