Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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