is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
