You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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