Well douche your snatch and let's go!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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