he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
