I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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