So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
