I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
