she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
