I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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