Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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