Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
