is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
