So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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