And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
