Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize