I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
