wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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