you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
