Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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