Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
