Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
