The maid of honor just puked.
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you would pick up someone in the library
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
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