you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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