Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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