just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...