once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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