Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can text with my tongue
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
