she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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