Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
