i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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