shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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