Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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