You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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