I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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