I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
