I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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