Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
