Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize