You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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