He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .