Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
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Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
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Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt