don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
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You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.