so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"