Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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