The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
