sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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