Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
