Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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