im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize