so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
