Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
