is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
