I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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