Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
