she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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