you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
