I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
