I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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