next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
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By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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